Feeling angry is a normal part of life. Usually anger is a result of feeling frustrated, insulted, deceived or even under attack.  For many, anger is a natural reaction that passes quickly. In some instances, however, it can become a difficult emotion to control.

Failing to manage anger effectively can lead to mental and physical problems. You may find your anger management issues are affecting your relationships, your work or even your self-esteem.

On this page we'll look at anger management in more detail and offer tips on how to deal with anger. We'll also explore treatment options such as hypnotherapy for anger.

When does anger become a problem?

Anger can be a useful emotion that triggers a physical reaction in the body. This reaction is called "fight or flight" and it normally happens when we are stressed or threatened. Adrenaline is pumped around the body, making you feel tense and ready to "fight" the threat, or flee.

The problem here is that fighting or running away isn't usually an appropriate option. This can make it difficult for us to express anger, and this is where some people develop a problem.

When you aren't able to express your anger, you may bottle it up. This can cause angry outbursts at inappropriate times. It may also make you feel more angry in general, leading you to react more agressively in other situations.

Everyone's experience will differ, but the following types of anger issues are recognised as potentially damaging:

Chronic anger - ongoing, prolonged anger can affect the immune system and result in other mental health issues.

Passive anger - when people express their anger in a passive way it often affects relationships.

Overwhelmed anger - caused when an individual feels there is too much to cope with.

Self-inflicted anger - when anger is directed toward yourself due to guilt, it can be mentally damaging.

Judgmental anger - directed towards others, the feeling of anger usually comes with resentment.

Volatile anger - leading to violent outbursts, this form of anger can be troubling for loved ones. 

If you don't learn how to deal with anger, it can lead to physical and mental health problems. If you are worried about any physical symptoms, you should consider seeking advice from your doctor. They will be able to assess your symptoms and see if they could be linked to your anger management issues.

Emotional effects of anger

Not being able to express your anger can eventually lead to further mental health conditions, such as:

 - depression

 - self-harm

 - anxiety

In some cases, anger management problems can be a symptom of another mental health concern. If you are experiencing any of these conditions a visit to your doctor is recommended.

Why am I so angry?

Everyone is different and will have their own anger triggers. It could be that you feel you are being treated unfairly, or you may simply be frustrated. For many people a sense of powerlessness can lead to frustration and anger.

To understand why you are angry, it can be helpful to look at your past experiences. Some people's backgrounds and upbringing can influence how they cope with anger. It may be that your parents were overly angry and violent when you were younger, so you were brought up to believe this behaviour is normal.

Alternatively you may have grown up seeing anger as a scary emotion. This can make you feel frightened or unable to express it. Whatever the circumstance may be, understanding the root of your anger is an important step in anger management.

Hypnotherapy is an increasingly popular therapy for those looking to change their behaviour. Anger management hypnotherapy in particular can help establish the underlying source of anger before changing unhelpful thought patterns.  

Get to know your triggers

Understanding what situations make you feel anger is key. By recognising when you are likely to feel angry, you can be prepared. To do this, start taking notes when you feel angry. Try to note the following:

 - What was the situation?

 - Was there another person involved?

 - What did they say/do to make you feel angry?

 - How did you feel at the time?

 - How did you behave?

 - How did you feel after the incident?

After while you should start to notice some patterns emerging. Perhaps you get angry when you feel belittled, or maybe you feel angrier after the situation because you couldn't express yourself at the time. Talk through your notes during your appointment as this can help them work with you to undersand the underlying reason behind your anger.

Just recognising these patterns can be an enormous help.

Give yourself some time

A simple way to help you manage your anger when a trigger situation arises is to give yourself some time before you react. This allows you to really think about how you react, rather than reacting instinctively. Try the following suggestions to see if they help:

Take some deep breaths - breathing out for longer than you breathe in can help calm you.

Count to 10 - A simple act that can give you enough tine to calm yourself before you react.

Do something else - instead of reacting, try to distract yourelf by doing something else. If you can, try to channel that energy into something creative.

Listen to calming music/sounds - create a calming playlist and listen to it when you start to feel angry.

Try a few different distraction techniques and see what works best for you.

Again, this is something you can discuss at your appointment as there are some alternative suggestions. Try some relaxation techniques, stress and anger tend to go hand in hand.

Many people find reducing their stress levels helps them to keep their anger under control. Relaxation techniques challenge the physical aspects of stress and anger. This can help you refrain from lashing out or behaving violently when you get angry.

Try some of the following techniques when you are feeling stressed:

 - meditation

 - visualisation

 - yoga

 - breathing exercises  

One of the ways hypnotherapy for anger can help is by triggering the body's relaxation response. During a hypnotherapy session you will drift into a relaxed state. It is at this point that we will offer suggesstions to help control your anger.

Be assertive

As we have mentioned previously, being unable to express anger can lead to anger management issues. To help you express opinions, it can help to learn how to be assertive. Being assertive allows you to tell people your opinions in a healthier way. Try the following tips for being more assertive:

 - When you feel angry, tell people and explain why.

 - When you do this, speak slowly and clearly. Use phrases like "I think" and "I feel" to put the focus on you rather than them. Try to make requests instead of demands or threats.

 - Say "I might" and "I could" instead of "I shoud" or "I must". Having the ability to express yourself in this way should stop you from bottling up your emotions. This can be especially helpful to those who feel persistently angry.

Plan difficult conversations

If you know you have a difficult conversation that may make you feel angry, try to plan ahead. Make some notes about what you want to say using the assertive tips mentioned above.

Plan some relaxation/distraction techniques if you think you may react quickly.

However, there is no need to struggle alone, please telephone or email to get the help you need.